Are Your Expectations Holding You Back?

Why is it that so consistently, a huge number of people “commit” themselves to getting healthy for the New Year, but 80% of them fail to get past the first 2-3 weeks? What is it that has them motivated in that first week and discouraged only a short time later? It would be one thing if it was a select few people that encountered this experience, but this is not the case. Every year, millions of people make conscious efforts to change their health, yet only a small percentage can see this effort to its end. While there are certainly a number of reasons why this could be, I would like to suggest that one idea is often overlooked: expectations.

If you EXPECT to lose 10 pounds in the first 2 weeks, what happens when you only lose 5, or worse, don’t lose any? Discouragement and disappointment. Now we may not all expect 10 pounds, but in general, we like seeing results. Whatever we are expecting of our new health and fitness venture, we want tangible, measurable results as quickly as possible. When this doesn’t happen, we feel shameful and discouraged. This is especially true when we feel that we are doing “all the right things”. The more we try to take on to achieve a goal, the faster we want results.

The problem is, as with most ambitious goals, health and fitness are not something to be won; they are something to be lived. It is about a journey, full of ups and downs, and side to sides. It’s about finding what works for you and experimenting with different philosophies. It’s about hoping for the best, but expecting only your best effort. As soon as your expectations hinge on extrinsic variables, you are set up for disappointment and most likely failure. We want to be able to “control” our weight or body fat % or pant size, but it doesn’t work like that. There are only two things that we can control: our behaviors and our environment (to a certain extent). If you eat a gallon of ice cream every night and you stop, you have made a behavioral change that will probably influence your health and appearance. If there are street lights outside of your bedroom that keep you up at night and you put up blackout curtains, you have made an environmental change that will probably influence your sleep (therefore health).

Neither of these actions is guaranteed to do anything for your health, but there is good reason to believe that it will do something. This is where setting the right kind of expectations is key. If you do these two things and expect that you will now lose that 10 pounds, you have set yourself up for discouragement for two reasons. First, there may be 5 other things that you do that are keeping the weight on. This is where the journey comes in. If you start feeling better, that’s a great start, but you may not see the weight come off until you adjust some other areas of your life. Second, who says that your body will start shedding pounds right away? What if those were the only two things you changed, but it took a year to lose the 10 pounds?

So it comes back to our goals and expectations. Yes losing weight is good, but your weight will always reflect your lifestyle. If you want your weight to change, start living the life of someone that is 10, 20, 50 pounds lighter. If you want your health to change, start living the life of someone that is in great health. It’s not a race and there is no trophy; it’s a journey. If all you expect of yourself is to do your best, and KEEP TRYING, you will find greater health, looks, and fitness than you ever thought possible.